My life as a homemaker and a career woman.
Written by Nez, Posted in My Thoughts, Comments: leave another one
I like to call myself a homemaker. In my own definition, a homemaker is a wife and a mother. It is a woman who selflessly gives out herself to making “a house” a home. It is a woman who manages and does household chores and looks after the wellbeing of her family. This woman understands that her children are a GIFT and God is in control. She does all this with grace and smile on her face.
I am also a career woman. I do not just pass time at work. I am dedicated, I pay attention and I have passion for my job. I have a vision. I am at my happiest when I deliver a functional system that will stay functional for years. I do my work above financial gain, at the same time the idea of making myself or earning LOADS of money motivates me. I am a small business owner. On this one I work with a team of dedicated professionals, which put my stress at low level.
Having a constant support system. In doing all of this I have a very supportive husband by my side. Cullo bath kids and cleans the house. While he does house work, between us is that perfectly invisible line that put order in our relationship. In some unspoken word I know my place as a wife as in “an old traditional way”, and he also knows his place as a man as in an “old traditional way”. I want to believe as human beings we somehow yearn to be who God created us to be. For example, It is me who grabs the kids when they are about to walk out and I fix those untamed hair edges, it is I who on Sunday goes and open up everyone’s closet to make sure that everyone will have something ready for the week ahead, you get my point?. On the other hand it is Cullo who checks if all the cars are not due for services, if the grass is taken care of outside, if everyone is covered sufficiently by medical aid and my gosh it is him who takes out a bin every Wednesday. This all works well for us.
Finding a balance. I have never found a flawless balance between being a homemaker and career woman. I have realized that It is futile to chase media perfection. That level of perfection and balance does not exist. To keep myself sane and serve my family with the said grace and smile, there are things that I decided to drop my standards on. I am fine with my house not being spotless clean, I am fine with not attending my kids’ school outings, I am fine with not partying pass 10pm at work functions. I only work 8hours a day, if I have more workload I use my lunch hour or sometimes take two hours on weekends to do some work.
When it gets messy. Sometimes it gets very messy and ugly. Like that day when my boss told me he needs the report before the end of the day and just when I sat on my desk I got a call that my child is throwing up and her temperature is high. Or that day when I went through my Whatsapp messages and found that it was a dress up day and that my child is the only one wearing a school uniform (Thank Goodness she was smiling bright in that pic.) Or last year when I had to cancel my family weekend getaway because one of my project was in construction stage, there were equipment that were not fitting into space and there were some coordination issues. I had to sit all weekend re-designing, re-sizing equipment, placing orders and negotiating with manufactures to cut on lead times.
There is a way to manage messy situation. I learned that all these messy situations could be evened up (I don’t want to say eliminated because I create unnecessary stress and pressure on myself) by Planning and Preparation. I plan for the meals on Sunday morning before church. I prepare school uniforms and work clothes on Saturday. I plan for weekends family activities on Tuesdays. Every day I take 15minutes of my lunch time at work to check my personal emails and whatsapp messages and diaries important school notices. I call for help. I planned for a sleep in nanny when my kids were below 12 months. I let go of a helper when they turned a year old. At that age I feel comfortable to let them go to kinder garden. I then settle for someone who comes twice a week to help do spring cleaning and laundry. With work I plan for as far 31 days or 2months ahead. I think of my work as I will think of what I will prepare for dinner. I brainstorm solutions to my work problems while stuck on traffic, just like I will plan what to eat for dinner while stuck on morning or afternoon traffic.
I get time to focus on me. I exercise regularly. To me exercise has gone pass the physical look. It is more about how it makes me feel and how I become and function better after a good sweat. It is also one time in a day when I am doing something for myself and by myself. I am a morning person so by 5am I am usually out of the house doing some form of exercise.
TAKE NOTE: In general being a homemaker and a career woman is not a walk in the park. It involves loads of work. I understand that it is not for everyone. But it is doable.
Take care,
Nez